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| 4upnorth | You can add your own witty quote, simply press the QUOTES button at the top of this page | | |
| Anthony Jones | Live each day to its fullest, you never know what day will be your last!! | | |
| 4upnorth | Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes. | | |
| Timloco | When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning,by dreams that need completion,by pure love that needs expressing,then we truly live life. Greg Anderson | | |
| mouse99 | tighter then bark on a tree | | |
| firelite | When life hands you lemons......Hey, free lemons! | | |
| Steve | If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. | | |
| Steve | Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach him to fish and he'll sit in a shanty and drink beer all day. | | |
| Timloco | Don't stay in bed unless you can make money while there. | | |
| 96Pack | Since everything is in our heads, we had better not lose them. | | |
| 96Pack | Da Bears still SUCK! They really really really really really really SUCK, yeah the BEARS STILL SUCK! | | |
| 96Pack | You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today | | |
| 96Pack | You should always be booted and spurred, and ready to go. | | |
| 96Pack | Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody expects of you. Never excuse yourself. | | |
| 96Pack | Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country! -J.F.K. | | |
| 96Pack | "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." —G.W Bush, LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000 | | |
| 96Pack | "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —G.W. Bush, Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000 | | |
| 96Pack | "I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here." —G.W. Bush in Waco, Texas | | |
| 96Pack | "I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport." —G.W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001 | | |
| 96Pack | "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' —George W. Bush, Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001 | | |
| 96Pack | "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right." —G.W. Bush, Rome, July 22, 2001 | | |
| 96Pack | "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —G.W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002 | | |
| 96Pack | "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." —G.W. Bush, Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000 | | |
| 96Pack | "They misunderestimated me." —G.W. Bush, Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000 | | |
| 96Pack | "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" —G.W. Bush, Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000 | | |
| 96Pack | "They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program." —George W. Bush, Nov. 2, 2000 | | |
| 96Pack | "It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet." —George W. Bush, Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000 | | |
| firelite | People who live in glass houses should not cavort naked on their coffee tables. | | |
| Timloco | God gave men a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time. | | |
| firelite | No, the voices in your head aren't real, but I'm sure they have some pretty good ideas. | | |
| Timloco | The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for free usually costs more. | | |
| Timloco | Results of 4upnorth survey: 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population | | |
| 96Pack | Smokers are just like Bowl Crappers --96Pack | | |
| George | I will never become a smoker but all smokers will become nonsmokers | | |
| Steve | "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure" - Bill Clinton | | |
| Steve | "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur" - Al Gore | | |
| Steve | "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it" - Al Gore | | |
| Steve | "Outside of the killings, Washington DC has one of the lowest crime rates in the country" - Mayor Marion Barry | | |
| Steve | "I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle | | |
| Steve | "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." - Hillary Clinton | | |
| Steve | "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." - Steven Wright | | |
| Steve | "To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group." - Dave Howell | | |
| Steve | "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." - Henny Youngman | | |
| Steve | "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign. | | |
| Timloco | Cigaretts don't kill smokers do | | |
| dansangelmom | "The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'" —Robin Williams, on the September 11 attacks | | |
| river_rat | In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.-- Jack Handey | | |
| dansangelmom | "Little bird with yellow bill... sat upon my windowsill. I lured him in with bits of bread, and SLAMMED the window on his head!"-- anonymous | | |
| 96Pack | Hit and run victims have enough problems already. Leave them alone. It's none of your business. And besides, it happened back there. Stop living in the past" - G.C. | | |
| dansangelmom | ' I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy' | | |
| Paul | "Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over"-G.W. Bush | | |
| Country Bumpkin | A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired. | | |
| Timloco | Sex is not the answer.Sex is the question.Yes is the answer. | | |
| emmy | Every time I walk into a bar I hear my mom's wise words. Don't pick that up! You don't know where it's been! | | |
| Cutie Boy | I live for the nights I will never remember with the friends I will never forget | | |
| mouse99 | where do they grow em (dumb people | | |
| Ruby | Remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away! | | |
| 4upnorth | Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. Its already tomorrow in Australia. | | |
| George | "the people of Iraq will greet us with flowers" Dick Cheney april 2003 | | |
| 96Pack | If you tolerate EVERYTHING, you stand for NOTHING | | |
| kmagee | Why do farts smell,.... so the deaf can enjoy them too | | |
| Timloco | Most lies that are told about blondes are false | | |
| tommy | Sitting next to a pretty girl for an hour seems like a minute, sitting on a hot stove for a minute seems like an hour.- Albert Einstein, on the theory of relativity. | | |
| Paul | A verbal cantract isn't worth the paper it's written on | | |
| Timloco | "Hooray! Hooray! The First Of May Outdoor Screwing Starts Today " J.G. Lakewood Wi | | |
| firelite | If your not the lead dog, the scenery never changes. | | |
| Smitty | "I can be changed by what happens to me. I refuse to be reduced by it" - Maya Angelou | | |
| muskiehunter | All shalt behold the power of the rover tide for without it the sheep shall fear and the deer weep - Anon. | | |
| muskiehunter | Take the Long Way Home - Supertramp | | |
| muskiehunter | I wake up in the morning and it's just another day - Bad Company | | |
| muskiehunter | I just want to use your love tonight, I don't want to lose your love tonight - The Outfield | | |
| JeMTurbo | It's not the size of the dog in the fight that counts, it's the size of the fight in the dog. | | |
| kmagee | im not prejudice,....I hate everyone equally!!!! | | |
| bassman | 79% of women believe they are above average in intelligence. | | |
| bassmaster | 1/4 land 3/4 water.....GO FISHING!!!! | | |
| bassman | Originality is the art of remembering something you heard but forgetting where you heard it. -- Mark Twain (I think) | | |
| north2lakewood | Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country -- John F. Kennedy -- Too bad the only JFK that most people up here know about is John F. Kerry who believes that we should just ask what our country can do for us, period. | | |
| north2lakewood | Yes, man is but a down and woman is but an assumption but that hath not change the world in which we heathens live thy word is thy promise and nothing else but a man lost in the woods | | |
| north2lakewood | All the leaves are brown, and the sky is gray - TM&TP | | |
| north2lakewood | Blinded by the light, cut loose like a goose another runner in the night - The Boss (Springsteen) | | |
| north2lakewood | Down by the river on a friday night, a pyramid of cans in the pale moon light - Some Country dude | | |
| dbm | Whiskey may not be the answer, but it sure keeps the questions off your mind. I said that once! | | |
| firelite | It's great to be a blonde. With very low expectations, it's very easy to suprise people. P.A. | | |
| dbm | I intend to live forever -- so far so good! | | |
| dbm | Borrow money from pessimists --- they don't expect it back. | | |
| dbm | When eveything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. | | |
| dbm | The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. | | |
| dbm | If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. | | |
| badger | "Guns don't kill people........Husbands that come home early kill people." - Larry the Cable Guy | | |
| badger | 5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions | | |
| mouse99 | its so cold out --i saw 2 attorneys with there hands in there own pockets | | |
| dbm | 99 percent of all Lawyers give the other 1 percent a bad name! | | |
| keli | In a small town, the only thing faster than the speed of light is the speed of "rumor"! | | |
| keli | The difference between a bad golfer and a bad sky diver? A bad golfer goes whack, dang! A bad sky diver goes dang, whack! | | |
| keli | "Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will." Jawaharlal Nehru, Indian Prime Minister '47-'64 | | |
| dbm | The gene pool could use some chlorine! | | |
| dbm | Don’t take life too seriously, no one gets out alive | | |
| dbm | You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me | | |
| dbm | Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder | | |
| dbm | The original point and click interface was Smith and Wesson | | |
| Old Newbie | He came to pay a debt He didn't owe,because we owed and debt we couldn't pay. | | |
| keli | Some people are like slinkies, basically useless, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of steps! | | |
| dbm | Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. | | |
| yngchik | Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. | | |
| yngchik | We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. | | |
| yngchik | To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world | | |
| badger | If mice had machine guns, cats wouldn't mess with them | | |
| badger | "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining" Judge Judy | | |
| keli | Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.... | | |
| keli | Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker. | | |
| keli | If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. | | |
| keli | It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. | | |
| keli | Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on... | | |
| jake | "Going to war without the French is like going Deer Hunting without your accordian" General Norman Schwartzkopf | | |
| Paul | "A bad day of fishing is the beginning of a good night of drinking." MRK | | |
| badger | "Bad things don't happen to you because your unlucky....they happen because your a dumbass!"--Red Forman | | |
| Michelle Magee | "It's funny 'cause it's true." Karen Walker - Will & Grace | | |
| keli | Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.... | | |
| keli | When I was young, I used to "skinny dip", now I just "chunky dunk". | | |
| keli | Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. | | |
| keli | Life is like a roll of TP, the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.... | | |
| AutumnKlover | "When choosing between two evils I always like to try the one I've never tried before" | | |
| AutumnKlover | "Ya know they used to say, if a frog had two pockets he'd carry two guns" | | |
| AutumnKlover | "Never hold your farts in, they will travel up your spine into your brain, and that's where you get crappy ideas from" | | |
| AutumnKlover | "Don't just be good.... Be good for something." | | |
| hoffer2045 | Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. | | |
| dbm | Why do they call it "Tourist Season", the DNR won't let us shoot em! | | |
| dbm | Having a smoking section in a Restaurant is like having a Peeing section in a swimming pool! | | |
| Paul | Even if your on the right track,you will still get run over if you just sit there.G.W. Bush | | |
| loonsnest | Life is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. | | |
| loonsnest | Enjoy Life! This is not a dress rehearsal. | | |
| dbm | WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL SNEAK IN AND CLEAN THEM! | | |
| dbm | WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES? | | |
| dbm | CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD? | | |
| dbm | WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"? | | |
| kmagee | nothing worse than a kick to the groin with a frozen boot | | |
| glori-oke karaoke | I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I AM PERFECT | | |
| rjgsr | The only constant in the world........ is change. | | |
| unlocal | I swear there ain't no heaven and I pray there ain't no hell! | | |
| kmagee | life isn't all funngames,...some of it makes sense | | |
| chicago | people spend too much time complaining about their problems, rather than investigating a solution. R. Helland 11/06 | | |
| chicago | bend over i'll drive you home! God damn this traffic jam!!! | | |
| chicago | don't get that thing full of sweat! somebody has to eat there tonight! | | |
| chicago | don't take life too serious, you'll never get out alive. Van Wilder | | |
